


look at me

by someonesaveme



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Pre-Timeskip | Academy Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28511532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someonesaveme/pseuds/someonesaveme
Summary: Edelgard came to her secret alcove hoping to find some peace, or maybe even some closure. What she found instead was her lover, waiting for her.She was prepared to kill him. Talking to him was somehow that much harder.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/Claude von Riegan
Kudos: 24





	look at me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote edelclaude and it was initially supposed to be cute but.... um. Anyways, I guess a lot of edelclaude and dimiclaude fics include claude just becoming cool with a lot of stuff very quickly and I just think I wanna see that sweet conflict. So.
> 
> VW run but with established edelclaude. Right after the holy tomb.
> 
> Might do a series of oneshots depending on how this one does. I love these two idiots.

“Your ideals, I can understand. They are not so far removed from my own,” Edelgard told him, telling herself it sounded less like a plea than it felt, “You can join me. Together, we can create the world we want to see.”

Claude shot her a lopsided smile, a flash of white teeth in the dark of the Sealed Forest. There one minute, gone the next. It seemed even the unflappable Claude von Riegan couldn’t keep up a smile in these circumstances. 

“You just want me to bring teach,” he joked. A flash of annoyance rose up in her. He always was good at that.

“I want you to bring as many allies as you can,” Edelgard shot back, “Including yourself.”

_Especially yourself._

Claude turned his eyes to her for the first time since they met up at their secret spot in the forest. Edelgard wasn’t all too sure what she’d been hoping to find. She wasn’t exactly surprised to find Claude, should have known anger would hardly stop her lover from seeking out answers, but she couldn’t say she was expecting a confrontation so soon either. She’d thought... well, she’d rather thought her next meeting with Claude would be at the opposite ends of the battlefield, she’d counted on it. She’d prepared for it.

This? His big green eyes, vulnerable for once with exhaustion and a hint of grief? This was a hurt she had not prepared for. 

“El, El, El,” he groaned, “I--You--Why’d you try to kill Lysithea? I thought you two got along.”

Edelgard couldn’t help letting out a scoff in disbelief. 

“That’s your first question?”

“You gonna answer it?!”

Edelgard bit back her own snappy response. She’d never actually seen Claude so on edge and raw before, not even after Remire. He'd always managed to pull himself together enough to pass muster before seeking her out. Was this different because it was her or simply because he has not yet had a chance to gain his bearings? Edelgaqrd wouldn't ask. She hoped to walk out of here with a powerful ally, best not push her luck and antagonize him.

“She’s too dangerous to leave unchecked,” she answered honestly. Lysithea’s power was no secret to Claude, after all. “I have no force that could have matched hers once she managed to get her bearings. So she had to go first.”

“And for that you almost kill--you know what? Fair. Fine. Smart. I, uh, should have expected that from you.”

It sounded like an insult more than a compliment.

“Claude,” Edelgard started carefully, clenching her hands behind her back to keep from reaching out. He wasn’t hers to touch anymore, it seemed.

“Question two,” he cut in, “What’s going to happen now?”

Edelgard bit her lip.

“You already know what happens now.”

Now, it was war. She wouldn’t play into Claude’s games by reliving exactly what she intended to do. He knew, the game was to make her admit it.

“I know how war works, yes. I read your manifesto too, very well done by the way. But what about the students? Are you gonna let them escape or will you cut them down? Your own classmates?”

He asked it so casually, as if she knew the answer. As if she hadn’t agonized over the very same question every day for the past year. Could Ferdinand be convinced to fight for her? Could Yuri be coaxed from Abyss? Could she explain her connection with those monsters to Lysithea in a way that would make her understand? Could she afford to spare Dimitri? Could she leave them an opening? Would it come back to bite her?

Could she allow Claude to live?

“I will not kill anyone who doesn’t stand in my way,” she answered neutrally.

“And what counts as standing in your way?” Claude challenged back. Always challenging, always asking the hard questions. 

“Claude,” she hissed, “If it is not your intention to help me, say so. Take a stand for once and declare which side you are on. Mine or hers.”

Claude chuckled.

“El, I’ve heard that question so many times I’m half sick of it. Are you this or that, one or the other? I’ve heard it enough to know there’s always a third option, one that they’d deny you. You know what? **Neither side**.”

And wasn’t that just classic Claude? Always with the third option, always with the “better way”. As if change could afford to wait for the perfect way to drop into their laps. Did he think she wanted things to be like this?

“Neither isn’t an option!” she yelled out in frustration. 

“Neutrality is protected under international law actually, not that anyone in Fodlan seems to know what that is,” he muttered the last half under his breath.

“Claude! Stop playing around!”

“El. I’m dead serious this time.”

She sucked in a breath. Claude let out a sigh. Silence reigned supreme in their secret spot where laughter and lively debate rang out just yesterday. Claude, almost reading her thoughts, turned to look around at their little hidden alcove nostalgically. 

“I love you, El. How’s that for a declaration?”

Edelgard wondered if she looked paler. Impossible as it would be, she felt paler. Claude’s words were his best weapon just as Edelgard’s resolve was hers. For all the tea parties spent discussing near mutinous topics, for all the times they snuck away from prying eyes for Claude to teach her odd dances he picked up somewhere she doubted was Fodlan, for all the times they’d sat in this very spot and held each other through their worst nights, Claude had never said those words. He couldn’t afford to. And Edelgard couldn’t afford to hear them.

“Haha, don’t look so sick,” Claude laughed, “I was just joking. Guess I just… wanted to see how you’d react.”

Edelgard knew how to take an out when so obviously presented.

“You shouldn’t joke about things like this. If I was more prone to emotion, I’d slap you.”

“Sorry, sorry, please don’t. You hit hard,” Claude griped. 

Yes, she did. She could still remember Claude crumbling and clutching at his left shoulder. She wondered if it was healed now or if he’d somehow escaped from Manuela’s motherly grasp before the blood had even dried. That’d be so like him--Manuela and the professor must be beside themselves.

_Manuela…_

_Byleth…_

“Claude…”

“Hm? What’s up, princess?”

_If I could afford to stop, I would have considered it for you._

“I need your answer.”

“You never let up, do you?” he scoffed, rolling his eyes almost fondly.

_No. Never._

Claude gave in to the silence this time. Plopping himself down onto a log with a huff, he refused to look at her as he answered, head bowed down. It’d be so easy to strike him from this position, so easy to raise her dagger and sink it into the back of his exposed neck… he actually seemed to believe she wouldn’t do it. Why else would he feel safe exposing himself like this?

_Well, he’s right isn’t he? You’ve not yet steeled yourself for that. Not yet._

“I won’t get in your way, El. I have no reason to.”

There’s a but in there so loud Edelgard didn’t even need to ask about it. But he wouldn’t abandon his classmates to fire and death and ruin, but he wouldn’t give her the Alliance, but he didn’t want to fight her war. 

But he wouldn’t stand by her side.

But she was all alone in this after all.

Edelgard nodded. She’d been ready to lose him from the start. Even if she hadn’t been, what clearer way was there to break up with someone than to bury an axe in their shoulder? This didn’t hurt, _it didn’t._

“I see.”

Edelgard turned her back and walked away. Claude never even looked up from the floor.

* * *

“I’ll finish the job for you,” Claude grit out, nocking an arrow as he spoke.

Edelgard looked at the man aiming the legendary Failnaught at her with fire in his eyes. Her axe lay somewhere in the throne room, flung far from reach. She wouldn’t need it anymore.

She looked at the boy who still wore the bead she’d carved for him all those years ago, wearing his grief in the tremble of his lips. Her own matching bead was ash in the air, burned away like she’d had to burn away all the other pieces of herself. 

Edelgard turned her eyes toward him. His gaze never left her.

* * *


End file.
